How do you handle situations where the other party in the conflict becomes defensive or aggressive during a verbal exchange? Are there any de-escalation techniques you find effective?

There are two key aspects to consider. First, whether in person or on a call, understanding body language is crucial as it often reveals more than words. Throughout my career, I've found three things to be effective: approaching situations with humility, exercising emotional intelligence to control one's emotions, and listening actively. It's important to move conversations away from generalizations and personal attacks to more objective discussions. Sometimes, it might be necessary to defer the conversation to a later time when cooler heads can prevail.

I find that silence can be as powerful as direct communication. By really listening and allowing the other person to speak, even through pauses, you often uncover what's truly going on. After they express their emotions and frustrations, they're usually more open to hearing solutions or opinions. This approach works well for me, and it's a personal style that everyone needs to discover for themselves.

I think it's important to assume noble intent when challenging processes or results. Often, the issues weren't intended. We try to provide solutions or redirect efforts rather than just pointing out problems. Many people build careers on identifying issues, but our focus should be on providing solutions, which is always a constructive step.