Software Engineers often get pegged as the team that says “no” or “that’s impossible”. How do you maintain a strong and trusting relationship with the product team while continuing to reset their expectations?

Our software engineers have never said no or that's impossible.

They often tell me that if I can imagine it, they can create it - it may just take a little time.

Then they open the food delivery app, and argue about the appropriateness of putting pineapple on a pizza.

Maybe, if the Product Team keep getting told "no" then maybe they should ask what is possible? Instead of defining a solution and having engineering tell they they can't build it, come to engineering with the problem and let engineeing tell them what is and isn't possible.

Collaboration, communication, and trust are what make any product and engineering team successful. If you're not delivering a successful product on time and pleasing the customers, it all falls apart. Scrum masters play a big role in this dynamic. We have something called the "power of threes," which includes the scrum master, the product leader, and the engineering leader. These three roles need to be in tight sync on a regular basis to identify impediments, challenges, opportunities for improvement, and delivery goals.

You have to make deposits into that trust account before you can make withdrawals. Be a partner in the journey. If you can't say yes to a product request, provide alternatives and ask for time. Show that you care about their priorities by asking questions and exploring alternatives together. This approach builds trust and shows that you're on the journey with them.

Building trust is something you have to start before you need it. If you know you'll have to bring bad news, like saying a task is too big or impossible, you need to have established trust much earlier. Be open and honest in all product discussions, and be a good advisor. Understand business needs alongside your technical advisory role. Instead of saying "that's impossible," it's better to say, "I don't know how to achieve that right now, but we need time to figure it out."