In your experience, what are some warning signs or red flags that indicate a colleague may be engaging in manipulative communication?

Some of the red flags I've noticed include withholding information. For instance, when you're getting a status report, you might notice that the person isn't fully explaining everything about the scenario. Another sign is inconsistencies in messaging from one communication to the next.

One thing that stands out to me is when someone seems over eager to share their perspective after a meeting didn't go well. It's as if they're trying to control the narrative and put themselves in a good light. I've found that the actual events in the meeting can be quite different from what I was told, so I always take such accounts with a grain of salt and seek other perspectives.

Coming from an engineering background, I focus more on the numbers. If the data they're presenting seems out of scale, that's a warning sign. For example, if someone claims we're 65% done with a project because we've got 800 servers, but I know the company has thousands of servers, I'd question their numbers. I prefer to handle such issues privately first, without accusing them of lying, but by asking for clarification.