Why do some leaders struggle with empathetic leadership?

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I don't understand why but some leaders don't want to be seen as vulnerable. Is it that much below you to have a human conversation with somebody and provide space for their emotions? It seems that some leaders want to put up this facade that they have no feelings and only care about getting the job done.

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A lot of management and leadership books will say that you have to be personable and you have to approach people. But then they’ll also say that you need to keep your personal life and professional life separate. That's the old school style of management and it's very wrong. After the last two years, there is no division between your personal and professional life. We invited everyone into our kitchens and living rooms the minute we went remote, so that thinking is no longer relevant. Unfortunately, that militaristic view of things still has a strong influence on people and they don't like to wear their heart on their sleeve as a result.

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Not all assigned leaders should lead people.

There is a school of thought that thought leaders or specialists can be effective leaders of teams or people. However, I believe that empathy is essential for effective leadership.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. I firmly believe that empathy is the most important quality for a leader. It is about being sensitive to the opinions, worldviews, and experiences of others.

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Recently my latest boss ( Not leader ) used micromanagement leadership to all of us, he’d found it useful and would claim that he’d resisted using empathetic leadership because it wouldn’t be “productive” to him.

I think people like him are afraid of being an empathetic leader because that would show themselves and to others as being vulnerable and caring, which they wouldn’t know what to do.

They would not care to change for and to anyone.

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Empathic leadership is poorly understood. Empathy puts people at the center and makes people the focal point for measuring leadership effectiveness. Aligning business goals with organization, team, and individual goals is a critical function of the empathetic leader.

Hiring people with natural alignment is one example of how empathetic leaders accomplish that. Setting individual incentives that reward contributions to top-down goals is another. Empathetic leaders create opportunities for growth to help individuals advance on their chosen career paths.

Empathy is a set of behaviors designed to improve people-centric outcomes that align with business outcomes. Most discussions focus on emotions instead of outcomes. Empathetic leadership outcomes have an emotional component, but the goal is to create a place for everyone on the team. Individuals and the larger team should know where each person fits and the value they create. That develops a sense of belonging and purpose.

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I think part of it has to do with some leaders feeling like they were &#34;burned&#34; by past team members who they were empathetic towards. This may have been an under performer that the leader was personally close with and felt that their empathy may eventually lead to the team member turning things around. The situation may have continued to worsen, eventually leading to a termination, and the leader being weary of displaying that level of empathy towards other team members in teh future.

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Some individuals have been promoted into leadership positions without having developed the necessary leadership skills and struggle with empathetic leadership and other aspects of effective leadership. They lack self-awareness and, frankly, should not be leaders.

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Not who they are at their core.

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I think we sometimes (often?) put top performers in leadership because it seems to be the natural next step, without remembering that not everyone is cut out for leadership. Some of those people struggle with empathy because they're top performer who are selfishly focused on their own goals and their own way of doing things correctly.

I also think we do many of our leaders a disservice by promoting them, giving them a team/book/goals, and wishing them luck, without any training at all.

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Based on the vertical development concept, it's because most of these leaders' mindset are in the Mind 2.0, in which their focus is to standout, advance, and get ahead. Based on a research, 85% of executives operate in Mind 2.0.

Empathetic leaders have the mindset of Mind 3.0, in which their focus is on contributing, adding value, and lifting others. And thus, they embody a more empathetic mindset.

If this concept sounds interesting to you, you can learn more about it from my conversation with Ryan Gottfredson (https://techleadjournal.dev/episodes/126).

Why do some leaders struggle with empathetic leadership?

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